Saturday

Thanks for all the supportive comments about my post last night! What I didn't say is that my mom, sister, brother, and I are all much better people due to what we have been through than we would have likely been if we had grown up spoiled and materialistic. Today, we are all successful, well eduated, happy, solid people who have worked hard for what we have and appreciate it. I do know that all of my experiences in life have made me who I am today, and I will be honest, I love who I am! So, I work hard at letting go of the old stuff and just being glad that all of it helped to make me who I am today.

Bobbie at 40 Shades of Pink posted this recipe a couple of days ago and I made it last night. It is SO good! You really need to make it!!! It was easy to make and delicious! Cameron & Bryce ate it too and enjoyed it. Bryce isn't all that picky and will eat most anything, probably because he isn't my kid, but Cameron is very picky and he really enjoyed it too. I am already looking forward to eating the leftovers today for lunch!

My sister, Donna, did go to visit JP last night, but wasn't successful in getting to see him. She said when she drove up to the jail, there were fire trucks everywhere and people were leaving the visiting area saying that no visits would be allowed for the night. Now, that happens from time to time if something is wrong in the jail. It is a huge facility that houses 4,000+ inmates, so if there is an attempted escape or a hazard of some sort, they wont allow anyone in and will just cancel visitation for the rest of the visiting hours. Well, Donna said she wasn't about to just leave with all of that going on and not know if there was a fire inside or something! So she waited around until all the trucks left and it was clear that there was no danger. She said she didn't want to call me to say, "well, I went to visit but there were fire trucks everywhere and the visitors had to leave, so I went home." Yeah, I'm glad she waited!! I'm sorry she didn't get to see JP though and I hope she'll go back again soon.

I got up this morning and went to Walmart. I love shopping there, but can't stand the crowds and long lines, so if I'm going, I go as early as I can. I went around 9am and it wasn't bad at all. I got what I needed to last us until we get back from our trip to NEW YORK next weekend! Our friends/neighbors, Cathy & Brent invited us to stay at Brent's boss' beach house on Long Island for Labor Day weekend. Everything is paid except for our airfare, so we decided to go. I am really excited about it, except that i'm a tad bit nervous about flying! I've only flown once when I was 7 years old, but I'm going to "get out of my box" as my mom frequently tells me I need to, and do it. We will get to spend time at the beach, go to Niagara Falls, and are planning to drive into Canada! I'm really excited!

Not much else is happening around here today. The weather is beautiful! It is around 80 degrees with the wind blowing a little bit, and no rain in sight! The pool is still a little green, so I probably wont get in it, but it is looking almost back to normal. I am going to clean up around the house a little bit, bake some COOKIES I bought at Walmart, catch up on some work stuff, and play on my computer!

I hope you have a great Saturday!

Friday night post

I'm so glad it's Friday!! It's been a long week and I need a little rest and relaxation time! I am so excited to have a weekend alone (well, Cameron is here, but he doesn't talk to me much, so i'm pretty much alone). Walter and his 4 brothers are having a weekend alone at his oldest brother's camp in Mississippi. And when I say camp, it's only because that's what they call it. It's bigger than my house, but anyway...this is the first time in the 10 years I've been with Walter that they've ever done this and i'm really glad that they are. They lost their dad last year (he was 89) and I think even though they are already very close, it made them think about their relationships and spending some quality time together. Walter is the 7th of 8 kids and there is a 20 year age difference between the older ones and the younger ones, so that means his oldest sister & brother are in or near their 70's. So anyway, i'm glad that they are bonding with their 4am fishing trips (and very glad i'm not!) and also glad for a weekend alone. I am usually the one off visiting JP in Houston or doing things with my friends, so i'm happy that Walter is doing some of that too. And for the record, his entire family is awesome. I couldn't be luckier or have better in-laws. And I think if we ever split up, they'd keep me instead of him. I'm just sayin!

And speaking of JP, I've been worried about him since the trial was rescheduled because I haven't heard from him much and feel like he may be getting depressed. I mentioned it to my sister, and she is going to go visit him tonight. I am glad she offered. I get a little upset sometimes because he is 20 minutes from her and in the 1 & 1/2 years he's been in jail, she's maybe been to visit him twice (other than when I go and she goes along with me), so I'm glad she said she'd go tonight.

I did not have a very productive day at work. Things got off to a slow start and I just couldn't seem to pull it together!!! A couple of us changed our schedules around to pick up some things from our main office, and once we got back to our office, just couldn't get motivated! I did finally get to my school at 11, just to leave to meet the same 2 co-workers for lunch at 11:30!! Afterwards, I had a meeting that lasted most of the afternoon. I have a Kindergartner who was totally out of control last year while in Pre-K, and I sat in a class with him for a little while this afternoon and he was SO great! He's gotten on some medicine over the summer and what a difference it made. He is one reason I begged to keep that school and i'm glad I can still work with him. Braces Boy is at that school too and was in ISSP (in school suspension) again this week. GRRRRR!!!!! I also have 2 kids at my west side school that are having big issues, so I will have to try to get over there Monday and see what I can do to help, if anything. I'm pretty sure one is headed to our alternate setting school.

I am so happy to be getting more comments now since the Blog Around the World started!!! I really love meeting new people and reading other blogs, so please, leave me a comment so I can visit your page!!

Ok, so you want to hear the story of my dad. I'll warn you now, it's not pretty, but I am an open book and you can feel free to comment or ask me anything you want. First, let me say, my dad & I were never close. My parents never really planned to have children and were sort of faced with having 3 children in 4 years. I wasn't the first child or the first boy - I was the middle child and we just never bonded. My sister & brother have different memories than I do, and different from each other, so this is just the story from my point of view. And I have made peace with my father. It's hard to forgive and forget, but I have tried to understand his position and moved on with my life. But, it is my life and my story, and I do have a right to tell it, so here it is.

My dad was a business man, mostly dealing in insurance, and his business ventures were more important than anything else, including family, stability, etc. We moved so much throughout my life that I never went to the same school more than 2 years. Wherever the money was, that is where we moved, and we definitely had the money. We were pretty spoiled growing up. We always had a big home, fancy cars, in-ground pools, etc. I'm not sure when my dad first got involved with Louisiana insurance and politics, but we lived in Baton Rouge from 1970 - 1973, moved away, then moved back in 1976. My dad was involved in some state insurance business with our former (and now imprisoned) Governor Edwin Edwards. There were apparently some inside deals going on between state insurance and the governor (who should have been indicted YEARS before he actually was), and something went really wrong. Governor Edwards had co-signed a half million dollar loan for my dad, and then something happened...money was being lost, a new governor was coming into office and questions were being asked...papers were being hidden to keep Governor Edward's name from being connected to state insurance/retirement policies that didn't really have any worth - something along those lines. So, suddenly people want to talk to my dad about these things...and he is suddenly KIDNAPPED!

Now, when this happened, in 1982, I was a 16 year old pregnant teenager. My parents had separated a year earlier, but my mom didn't work and he continued to pay all of our bills. I had been living with my boyfriend for several weeks, and things weren't working out when I was notified that my father had been kidnapped. I moved back home to help my mom deal with this situation. The story was that his apartment had been "turned upside down," and there were reports of threats made against him, and he was missing. My sister (18) was pretty much into her own world with her boyfriend, and my brother (15) wasn't able to deal with things, so at 16, I helped my mom, who had been a recovering alcoholic for several months, figure out what to do. My mom had pretty much shut down and was not able to deal with what was happening. We were being sued by every company imaginable in Louisiana for debts my father owed and our house was eventually put up for sheriff's sale, our cars were repossessed, newspaper reporters were in our yard daily (thank God it was before the days of media frenzy like it is now), and we were falling fast. My paternal grandmother, Essie, lived with us, and was an amputee who had her own handicapped apartment connected to our home. Essie was the kindest, sweetest woman I have ever known, and had been living with us for 6 or 7 years, since open heart surgery complications caused her to lose a leg. So, I helped my mom find us an apartment to rent, an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) friend of hers gave her a car to use, I found someone to buy nearly all the furniture from our 6 bedroom house that wouldn't fit in a 2 bedroom apartment, etc. It was a total nightmare, the FBI were calling non-stop looking for information on him, and he became (and i'm quoting from a book) "the most famous missing person in Louisiana since 1968." An uncle of mine showed up from Georgia to rescue Essie, giving us the impression that she would be moving in with 2 sisters of hers, but then put her in a nursing home. If I wasn't already broken by that time, that broke me. I also had to make the decision to give my baby up for adoption because there was no way we could take care of a new baby when we weren't sure how we were going to take care of ourselves, but I knew this was best for the baby due to my age, so that wasn't as painful for me as what happened to Essie.

My dad had cheated on my mom for most of their marriage, and she pointed the FBI to the woman's house where he was likely living. After seeing the kidnapping story on the news, a man came forward who remembered selling a car to my dad, then the car was found at the airport. He had gone to live with a secretary/girlfriend, in Pennsylvania, leaving us to deal with his mess!! The FBI actually went to the woman's apartment to look for him and we were told later that he was hiding in the closet!! They never found him, well, until almost exactly a year after he disappeared. He was found dead of pancreatic cancer in a V.A. hospital in Pennsylvania! The girlfriend didn't even bother to call us and let us know that he was dying.

So, that is why he is in some Louisiana history books. He wasn't all that important, but what he knew about former (imprisoned) Edwin Edwards was very important to those who wanted the information. One book he is in is called "The Last Hayride." He is chapter 13. It was neat because I was able to give Elizabeth a copy of that book when we first reunited and it helped her to see what led up to my decisions about the adoption.

And there is a silver lining to every cloud, as they say! Or I think that is what they say, whoever THEY are! A local investigative reporter was doing a story about the whole Edwin Edwards fiasco and ended up dating my mom and eventually marrying her! They have been married for 20+ years now and he is way more of a father to us than my dad ever was. And yes, I have let him know that and thanked him.

Now, just when you think the story is over, there have always been rumors, some coming from my sister and brother, that my dad faked his own death and is still alive. And at the funeral, the man in the casket didn't look anything like my father, but dying so quickly from cancer can really change the way a person looks. My mother made the funeral home people show her scars that my father had to prove to her that it was him. And really, where would he have gotten a body to send to his funeral? My brother's friend told him way back when all of this was going on that his father was "in the know" on that sort of stuff and that my dad is in the witness protection program. And I have said repeatedly, if that is true, my father might want to be sure to call one of them if he's looking for us, cause I aint answering the call!! Personally, I don't buy into the rumors.

So, there you have it. Any questions or comments are welcome! I don't mind talking about any of it and it is therapeutic to talk about it sometimes.

Questions & Comments:

Kimi asked if I bought my purdy new shirt for work - yes! I like to wear my khaki or greenish khaki jeans that don't look like jeans and I love shirts that go with them! That shirt will match both pairs! And yes, my mom most certainly remembers the Girl Scout incident!!!! I don't know if she'll ever let me forget it!!

You can either regret or rejoice!

I came across this quote the other day and it really meant something to me. I made so many poor choices in my life, mostly as a teenager/young adult, that altered the course of my entire life. Had I made better choices, or maybe had better role models, there is no telling who or where I would be today. But then I look at my life now. I probably had to work harder and longer than most people, but today, I am a very happy, successful, person with nothing major to complain about. Sometimes when those old thoughts get me down, I tell myself that I probably made more of my life doing it "this" way because the decisions I made to get here were based on me and what I wanted to do with my life, not what everyone else wanted me to do. I think having so much contact with my high school friends recently started me thinking about a lot of the old problems. I've never been much on comparing myself to other people, so it's not about that. It's more about what I missed out on and the friendships I left behind. I was a mixed up teenager, raised by wealthy, alcoholic parents and never felt "smart" or encouraged to do big things with my life. My dad & I never had a good relationship and I know that affected a lot of the choices I made in my life. I was always forced to be like my sister, and we are NOTHING alike, go to the schools she went to regardless of where I was already in school and doing well, uprooted and moved every year or two because my dad's business plans were more important than roots and stability. Anyway, I ended up pregnant at 16 & 18, a high school drop out, struggling to make ends meet for my entire young adulthood. My dad's business plans finally blew up in his face and he faked his own kidnapping and ran off to live with a girlfriend in Pennsylvania. We lost our house, cars, money, dignity, etc. It took years for all of us (my mom & 3 teenagers) to recover and get ourselves together, but today, my mom, sister, brother, & I are all so much better people than we would have been if none of that would have happened. I managed to get my act together in my late 20's, divorced someone I had married that wasn't really a family man, and got myself back in college (which took me 17 years to finish with full time jobs, life, and children mixed in), and met someone who wanted a family and the things that were important to me. At 39, I graduated college and at 41 earned my Master's degree! Who would have thought! I am such a well rounded, smart, fun, friendly, life loving person, a decent wife & mother, and honestly have everything I need and most of what I want, but yet, I still think back and kick myself sometimes. And as a social worker, I know the importance of letting it go. And as a spiritual person, I also see all of the work that God has done in my life over the years when I never thought He was there before. So, to myself and anyone like me out there, let it go! Forgive yourself for decisions you made as a child and help those around you to make better decisions. Take those kids who don't have anyone telling them "they can!!!" and tell them yourself!!!! And imagine that I now work with kids who have behavior problems, hoping to make a difference, no matter how small! Whew! So, I got that off my chest. Any questions? I'm an open book, so feel free to ask.

Dieting today brings no new news, but i'm sticking to my diet and not gaining anything back, so that is something! I had bacon for breakfast, stuffed bell peppers for lunch, and tonight Cathy & Brent are coming over to grill steaks with us, so I will be in ribeye heaven!! As for the bell peppers, I made Walter & Cameron's (pretend with me that Cameron eats what we eat) with rice and made mine with steamed/mashed up broccoli!! I discovered that after eating the "pretend mashed potatoes" which are made with mashed up cauliflower that the texture of the veggies seem a lot like rice or mashed potatoes. And it was good! My friend, Lesley, is contemplating starting Atkins on Monday, so here is the pretend mashed potatoes recipe incase she needs it or anyone else wants it:

1 head fresh cauliflower, steamed until tender and mashed - I used a bag of frozen & steamed it
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sour cream
1 1/2 tablespoons heavy cream
1 cup grated cheddar cheese chopped bacon
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
Mix & mash ingredients together and place in a buttered 9 X 12 casserole or baking dish Bake at 350 degrees for 30-45 minutes or until cheese is completely melted and the casserole is heated.

Here are some pictures of the pier in progress! But first, I have to brag on what an awesome husband I have! His name is Walter, but he is affectionately known around here as "The Wizard." He can fix, build, or create anything!! So many times while we were building our house I would ask him "how do you know how to do that?" His answer is usually, "I don't!" But somehow he is able to figure out how to do any project and do it right. Once, Cameron's 3rd grade class was studying Penguins and each of the kids was told to make a Penguin. There were no guidelines - it could have been a drawing, a poster, etc. Well, here is what Walter & Cameron made out of paper mache' - a lifesize Penguin that was borrowed by the teacher the next few years as well as our public library!! After that, the school asked Walter & Cameron to make a paper mache' statue of liberty for a display in the cafeteria during a school celebration. It's probably a good thing that Cameron moved on to middle school or they might still be making creations for the school! Here are some pictures.

What memories!!! That seems like such a long time ago! Back then, Cameron said that having the penguin at school made him feel like "the president" because everyone was nice and wanted to talk to him!

So anyway, Walter has set his mind to building a pier and started on it this morning. He saw me with the camera and said "you outta take a picture!" I said, "Oh don't worry! This is good blogging material!"

We are also "boat sitting" for a friend of ours who needed to have work done on his boat trailer but didn't have anywhere to put the boat. They brought it by early this morning! He bought the boat on Ebay and flew out to get it! It really is a pretty boat and he will have a great time fishing in it.